Pic of the Day

(hat tip: bradley)
Lonely Sex Positions

Dear Dr. Ruth

Scare Me, Please

do you already have a costume picked out?
Beer Alert!
***** Nagios *****
Notification Type: WARNING
Service: BEER
Host: cshq.clearspring.com
State: WARNING for 0d 0h 0m 1s
Address: 127.0.0.1
Info:
BEER WARNING FRIDGE/1.1 404 Not Found - 358 bytes in 0.127 seconds
Date/Time: Mon Apr 7 15:23:11 EDT 2008
ACK by:
Comment: Ominous lack of craft beers detected, clearspring ale squad needs mobilization!
in reply, one of the guys then wrote back: "Shouldn't the plugin be returning 406 Not Acceptable?"
heh.
Lollipop Surprise
talked to my sister earlier and she told me this story that had me laughing... i usually don't blog personal stuff around here, as you've probably noted, but what the hell.my little sister, who's 6 months pregnant with her fourth child, went to the pediatrician for a scheduled visit... she had Abby with her, who's coming up on her second birthday and is quite the little charmer... after sitting in the doctor's office for a bit, she was then guided to the bathroom by the nurse and handed a plastic cup to pee in.
naturally my sister is like "no biggie" and takes Abby with her into the bathroom... the nurse kindly gives her a lollipop to help keep her occupied, which seems to work out since she's a kid and how many kids don't light up at a sweet, right?
so my sister does her thing, and as she's bending over to grab her pants to pull up... little Abby takes her lollipop and sticks it right into my sisters ass!
nope, i'm not fucking kidding... hahaha
it had me laughing on my drive into work this morning... damn man. *chuckles*
The economy is so bad that...
2. I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
3. CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
4. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
5. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
6. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
7. Parents in Beverly Hills have fired their nannies and learnt their children's names.
8. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
9. Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
10. The Mafia is laying off judges.
Nerd Jokes

here's a sample one that actually had me laugh out loud... and yes, i totally felt like a dork but whatever. *shrugs*
Einstein, Newton and Pascal decide to play hide and seek. Einstein is it, closes his eyes, counts to 10 then opens them.
Pascal is no where to be seen.
Newton is sitting right in front of Einstein, with a piece of chalk in his hand. He's sitting in a box drawn on the ground, a meter to a side.
Einstein says "Newton, you're terrible, I've found you!"
Newton says "No no, Einy. You've found one Newton per square meter. You've found Pascal!"
oh, and the best nerd pickup line...
If I was a protein, I'd be DNA helicase, so I could unzip your genes.
(hat tip: adam)
Pic of the Day

(hat tip: justin)
FoO Illustrations

i'd love to make this into a fullsized poster and hang it up on my wall at home somewhere... seriously, how great would that be? heh.
thanks jeff ^__^
Vader's New Girlfriend

Pic of the Day

i know, it's almost begging for a good caption or photoshop contest.















